Carolyn Hax: Confront a parent who mocks your kid’s name on Facebook?

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Expensive Carolyn: At a back-to-school occasion, a instructor stumbled over my youngster’s identify. My youngster gave the right pronunciation, and that was that.

Or I assumed it was, till afterward on Fb I noticed a mother or father had posted, “Who thought naming a toddler [my child’s name] was a good suggestion?” I used to be astonished. It was a lady I’m pleasant with who has a toddler in the identical class as my youngster.

The identify is uncommon on this nation however is widespread within the nation my grandparents come from, and was chosen as a tribute to them. My youngster likes the identify, and has by no means requested to go by a nickname or given any indication that different children make enjoyable of it. So far as I do know, this different mother or father is the one one who has an issue with it.

Ought to I say one thing to her? One other mother or father I think about a buddy clicked “like” on her submit, and one other commented, “This submit is unkind of you.” Ought to I thank that mother or father? Confront my buddy about why she “appreciated” a submit mocking my youngster’s identify? I simply don’t know the way to take care of this.

Mocked: Each now and again, there’s an outbreak of mass public scoffing over an uncommon identify — two pile-ons come to thoughts, over ABCDE (“Absidy”) and ESPN (“Espin”). Thanks for the reminder of how smug, mean-spirited and presumptuous it’s to do that, regardless of how unwise a reputation appears to the particular person scoffing at it. Your story completely captures why:

The poster thinks she’s completely justified in her criticism, or else she wouldn’t go public — and also you completely consider it’s a significant, acceptable identify, or else you wouldn’t have chosen it. And there you could have it, the baseline eye-of-the-beholder transaction behind each identify ever given.

Subsequently, the one rational, non-obnoxious conclusion is that nobody will get to resolve they’re those drawing the road within the “proper” place between good and dangerous identify concepts. (Besides with the only a few names which might be legally prohibited.)

Subsequently, the one un-smug response to another person’s identify, any identify, is to make a good-faith effort to pronounce it accurately. Interval.

Humility is an attractive factor.

When you’re so positive a child will endure for it, then: (a) Be equally assured a child can change it. (b) Why would you wish to inflict that struggling your self?

Which brings me to your choices concerning the smug, mean-spirited Fb submit. If I’d seen your query within the live-chat queue, I’d have suggested you to touch upon the submit: “I assumed that identify was a good suggestion! Nonetheless do, and my youngster agrees.” In taking possession, you’ll have owned — within the juicier sense — this impolite mother or father.

When you didn’t reply then, I encourage you to speak to every of the folks you point out.

To the unique poster: “I hope you grasp there was an actual particular person on the different finish of your Fb submit, singled out to your ridicule.” To the one who clicked “like”: “I noticed you appreciated that submit mocking [child’s] identify. That harm.” The one who stood up for you: “Thanks for calling that Fb submit unkind.”

Why do that when it’s “simply” a silly social media submit, simply ignored? As a result of the treatment to delinquent media cowardice is a human face. You may put yours proper in entrance of theirs, holding the imply ones to account. I so hope you do.

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