Final month, I found I’ve most cancers. I would like to start a chemotherapy routine. No cruise for me. As a result of the dates have been already reserved because of the deposit, I requested my buddy whether or not she wished to take one other individual and go on the cruise with out me. She mentioned no, and that she solely wished to go along with me. I canceled the cruise, dropping the $900 deposit with no journey insurance coverage.
My buddy has by no means paid me her half of the deposit as a result of we have been going to settle up on the whole prices after the cruise had ended. She has mentioned nothing (regardless of broad hints on my half) about paying her half of the $900 deposit, apparently assuming that the loss was my fault, which it was. Ought to I simply confront her in regards to the $450?
Assuming my most cancers shall be in remission, she has steered reserving one other cruise for the 2 of us in October 2024. However due to the $450 challenge, I discover I’m reluctant to do something additional together with her. How ought to I deal with this?
Feels Betrayed: It’s arduous to think about most cancers as one thing that’s your “fault,” however I perceive you will have accepted accountability that your most cancers remedy compelled you to cancel the plans. Sure, reimbursing you for half the price of the deposit would have been the first rate factor on your buddy to do. In spite of everything, she might have gone forward to make use of her half of the deposit (in addition to yours) by merely accepting your provide for her to benefit from the cruise with another person. As a substitute of broadly hinting, you could possibly ask her, outright: “Are you prepared to reimburse me on your half of the cruise deposit?”
In case your buddy needs to go on one other cruise with you, you could possibly let her plan it and pay all the deposit. She’s going to then bear the monetary threat you confronted in case of cancellation. Given how this has turned out, nonetheless, it might be wisest for you two to every pay your individual method individually from the deposit onward. I sincerely hope that your well being is totally restored to face this dilemma subsequent yr.
Pricey Amy: My buddy “Harry” is an alcoholic. A number of years in the past, he ended up within the hospital going through organ failure because of his ingesting. Amazingly, he survived. After that, he attended a couple of AA conferences by way of Zoom. He by no means acquired a sponsor or actively labored this system.
Not too long ago, one other buddy instructed me Harry commented that it might most likely be okay for him to drink a glass of “good” wine. My buddy instructed Harry this was not a good suggestion. I used to be shocked to listen to Harry is contemplating ingesting once more. He acquired sober earlier than, but it surely solely lasted for a few years. I really feel as if I ought to say one thing to him, however is that this any of my enterprise? If I do say one thing, how do I strategy this?
Caring Buddy: It’s best to lengthen and proceed your friendship with “Harry” by spending time with him, if attainable, and by retaining in contact with him. You could possibly not management him when he was ingesting, and you can’t management him now. His sobriety is his enterprise. He most likely understands the results of ingesting even higher than you do. If he expresses his idea about “good wine” on to you, you could possibly ask him: “Based mostly on what you realized in AA, what do you assume it’s best to do? What does your sponsor say?” Encourage his sobriety and urge him to remain the course.
Pricey Amy: “Exhausted and Worn Out” described the burden of internet hosting a stepson and daughter-in-law for Thanksgiving week. Your recommendation to show the daughter-in-law the right way to prepare dinner a turkey was so sexist! She ought to train her stepson!
Shocked: Many readers responded equally. In my protection, “Exhausted” wrote that her daughter-in-law had by no means cooked a turkey. She didn’t point out her stepson. So I used to be responding to her reference. I additionally assume that she and I have been each making use of a gender stereotype to this challenge, so I agree with you.
© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content material Company.